alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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