Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
