So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
