she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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