That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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