so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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