I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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