Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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