So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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