Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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