Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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