yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
