I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
