I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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