The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
