its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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