I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
