Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I got inside last night via doggy door
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
