talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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