I am puke
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
