you mean i was at the winter classic?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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