Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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