so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Randomize