went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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