Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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