oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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