He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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