i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
