hotel room ftw
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The convent might be a nice break from real life
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
