oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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