Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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