am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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