Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
