If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
