haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
