I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
