am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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