How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
