I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
