I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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