i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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