he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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