She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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