what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
