just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
