You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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