Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
