come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
