C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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