Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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