I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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