I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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