apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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