i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
