At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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