well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
