i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
