Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
