I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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