Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize