Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
