their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
