Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
