Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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