my phone needs a breathalizer
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
