i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
