very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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